a collection of degenerated thoughts, inside jokes, and epic moments.
Quote
Someone in Naples once said: “I’m so ahead of time that when I look behind me, I only see the future”
Bad news, good news
“Ma’am, we have a bad and a good news. The bad one is that your baby is wrapped around his neck… The good one is that it’s not the umbilical cord: it’s his penis!”
La Guerra Degli Antò
“It takes balls to move to Amsterdam, but it takes balls to stay in Montesilvano too”
Italy is that country where random strangers have to disapprove your clothing, despite having to rush to the church to assist your collapsed grandma who lies on the floor, while their mass goes on…
“Cover yourself, you’re showing everything off”, “Actually, when the Lord made me, he made me naked”
Italy is that country where you go the the post office for a pension fund, but instead you end up having an unwanted therapy session with a random employee who insists on understanding the reasons why you don’t want kids
Italy is that country where a random, nosy nurse insists on understanding the reasons why you chose to study Art in Naples (instead of going to Macerata like her daughter)
Italy is that country where a random cashier feels entitled to maliciously wish you a “nice evening” if you buy Vaseline in broad daylight
Perspectives
“After my Biology Bachelor’s Degree, I want to get a Master’s Degree abroad, and then try to get in the Forensic Sciences Department”, “Would killing myself with gas put my neighbors in danger?”
Physics applied to the human condition
In every case in which no heat is exchanged, or when the heat exchanged is negligible, the future behaves exactly like the past
A pecora tra le pecore
The sequel of “Gran Sesso sul Gran Sasso”. A movie by Anna Piera Di Silvestre
Staring
“A person who stares into your eyes for over 5 seconds, either wants to kill you or to fuck you”
Life on Earth
“I don’t give a damn about being saved cause I’ll keep existing till I’ll burn into the sun… It’s you who dug your own early grave”
Zoosafari
Hippopotamus can live up to 50 years. I wonder if the one of the zoo in Fasano I threw (as a child) a Kinder Brioss right in the throat while it was yawning is still alive
2022 property
“My name’s Anna Piera, whose boyfriend are you?” (Dear peers who, in 2022, start off by asking “whose girlfriend are you?”: what’s wrong with you?)
Conversations
“This morning, while biking, I saew a women sitting in front of the bank, shoving a thermometer up her doggy’s ass”, “My day started out fighting with Romanians in the junkyard of Bologna”
’O melon
Have you ever wondered about the fact that if the title of the movie “Home Alone” wasn’t translated in Italian, for the Neapolitans it would go down in history as “The Watermelon”?
Sicily 2021
“Excuse me! The trash is on fire! Can you please do something?”, “Mmh… We’ll see…”, “Shall we put it out ourself?”, “It wouldn’t make any difference”
Certi amori
Certain loves are like a recurring dream, whose familiar, reassuring, and beautiful places dissolve upon awakening, and you realize that nothing you’ve seen or experienced was true, except what you’ve felt
Sailor Jupiter
“I’m the tallest therefore I’m Sailor Jupiter. You can be Sailor Mercury”, “I don’t wanna be Sailor Mercury, I’m Sailor Jupiter!”, “I’m Sailor Jupiter not Sailor Mars!”
Catcalling II
“Hey there beauty! I’d like to get my hands on your ass!”, “Why, don’t you have a cock?!”
Catcalling
“Hey there beauty, you got an ass that speaks for itself!”, “And what did it tell you: asshole ?”
Vivo a Berlino IV
I live in Berlin. When I feel up to I do squats in the middle of the street.
“I do squats, and I’m proud of it!”
Memoirs of Hadrian
“I’m still reading Memoirs of Hadrian” (check Urban Dictionary for “Kitammuort” English definition)